Ventura County Weddings - (805) 987-6252
Marriage is a commitment to life, the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal. It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.
When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfil.
Wedding Protocol
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The time you spend planning your wedding will be filled with tomorrow's memories. From deciding on the color of your bridesmaids' dresses to the feeling you'll have as you stumble upon your surprise shower, these are the moments you'll remember time and again. So it's only fitting that the attendants by your side be your most treasured friends and relatives. You and your fiancé are going to rely heavily on your attendants for their support and help, and you'll also want to select people you know you can count on.
Whom to Ask
In the past, it was often expected that engaged couples would include family members (siblings, cousins) in their wedding parties. Today, though, they're more inclined to base their decisions on close friendships. You might ask your sister to be your maid of honor, your college friends to be bridesmaids. Or maybe you'd rather have your mother as your matron of honor, the groom's father as the best man. What's most relevant is that the people you choose are important to both of you.
In some cases, couples may feel pressure to include a certain relative or friend in the wedding party that they don't really want. Weigh your options carefully. Can you solve the problem instead by asking those individuals to do a reading during the ceremony? Choosing someone because you're afraid of hurt feelings is not a good reason, but if the alternative will cause more trouble, it might be just worth it.
The size of your wedding party will depend somewhat on the size and style of your wedding. If you're having a large formal wedding, you'll probably want a traditional wedding party with ushers, bridesmaids, and honor attendants. If you're having a more intimate affair, you may not feel comfortable with a full entourage. Contrary to popular belief, you and your fiancé need not have an equal number of attendants, and it's perfectly acceptable to have an opposite-sex attendant if you wish.
Attendant Responsibilities
Most attendants will host pre-wedding parties for the bride and groom: a bridal shower given by the maid of honor and bridesmaids; a bachelor party thrown by the groomsmen. Even though they might be invited to other parties in your honor, one shower gift, in addition to a wedding gift, is all that is expected. In return, the bride and groom should give their attendants small gifts shortly before the wedding (during the rehearsal dinner is a good time) to show their appreciation.
While responsibilities will differ for each attendant, typically all members of the wedding party pay for their own travel expenses and attire. The bride's attendants are expected to purchase the dress, shoes, and accessories that the bride selects. Groomsmen pay rental costs for their formal wear. Of course, the attendants should try to attend every pre-wedding party and certainly should be present at the rehearsal and the dinner that follows it. Here are the specific responsibilities for each role.
Maid or Matron of Honor
Out of all her attendants, the bride relies most heavily on her honor attendant. Traditionally, the maid of honor is the bride's closest sister or friend. A married honor attendant is referred to as a matron of honor. In cases where a bride chooses to have both a maid and a matron of honor, the maid of honor's role takes precedence during the ceremony.
Before the wedding, the maid of honor's duties include coordinating the bridesmaids' activities, such as meeting for a dress fitting and organizing the bridal shower. She also helps the bride with any preparatory errands or tasks, like addressing the invitations and keeping records of all the gifts.
On the wedding day, the maid of honor helps the bride dress and accompanies her to the ceremony. She signs the marriage license as the bride's witness, arranges her veil and train during the processional and recessional, and holds her bouquet at the altar. At the reception, she dances with the best man and organizes the bridesmaids for formal pictures. Before the couple leaves for their honeymoon, she helps the bride change, and makes certain her dress and bouquet are preserved afterwards.
Bridesmaids
You may choose as few or as many bridesmaids as you wish to be in your wedding (although generally 12 is the limit). Bridesmaids can be single or married and of any age, although girls between the ages of 8 and 16 become junior bridesmaids and receive abridged responsibilities. The main role of a bridesmaid is to assist the maid of honor with planning-especially the bridal shower-and help the bride as needed. Bridesmaids walk in the processional and recessional. During the reception, they mingle, dance with the ushers and other guests, and encourage single girls to participate in the bouquet toss.
Flower Girl
The flower girl is usually between the ages of four and eight, depending on her level of maturity. During the processional, she walks ahead of the bride, scattering flower petals in her path or simply carrying a pretty bouquet. She should also be included in the wedding rehearsal so that she is comfortable with her role. Her parents are expected to pay for her attire and arrange for transportation.
Best Man
Like the maid of honor to the bride, the best man is the groom's biggest source of support. Generally, he is the groom's brother or best friend, and he can be married or single.
The best man's main role before the wedding is to organize the bachelor party. He helps coordinate the groomsmen's formal-wear fitting, picks up the groom's attire before the wedding, orchestrates the toasts at the rehearsal party, and confirms the honeymoon travel reservations the day before.
On the day of the wedding, the best man makes sure the groom gets to the ceremony site on time. He brings the bride's ring, holds the officiator's fee until after the ceremony, and signs the marriage license as the groom's witness. Afterward, he organizes the groomsmen for formal pictures, dances with the maid of honor, and orchestrates the toasts during the reception.
Finally, he makes sure the get-away car is ready, with the couple's luggage inside. After the celebration, he sees that all rented formal wear is returned.
Ushers
The ushers have very few responsibilities before the wedding. Mainly, they plan and host the bachelor party with the best man. Of course, they should periodically check with the groom and best man to see if they need any help.
On the wedding day, the ushers need to arrive early and promptly at the ceremony site, ready to greet and seat guests as they arrive. Any special seating arrangements should be communicated to the ushers ahead of time. When a female guest arrives, an usher should offer her his right arm and escort her to her seat, with her date or spouse following behind. Male guests may simply be led. If the bride's mother or the groom's parents won't be in the processional, ushers should seat them just before the ceremony begins (the bride's mother is always seated last).
Ring Bearer
The ring bearer is traditionally a boy who carries the wedding rings on a satin pillow (or symbolic rings, with the real rings being held by the honor attendants) down the aisle towards the alter. The maid of honor and best man take the appropriate rings off the pillow (you might want to tie them on with an attached ribbon for safekeeping) and give them to the bride and groom. Like the flower girl, the ring bearer's parents pay for his attire and arrange for his transportation.
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